Welcome to Chengi‘s blog of craps :D

Just so HOW am I supposed to start with this whole about ME thing??? *thinks* awh-gaawd~ screw it. Will just “get-to-point” lets see then. . . . . My friends say I’m an EMO. *rolls eyes* RIGHT. Me. Emo. MAYBE. & some of them say I’m just simply crazily Hyper at times. Well, it’s a better thing right? Rather than being an Emo. But I couldn’t say that I’m NOT an emo. I am. At times. Like COME ON, I bet YOU out there are like this tooooo right???? Emotional it is. & omg don ever start with emotional. I’m just a SOOOOOO freaking emotional person. I can just cry over SILLY things >____< bad thing though. So wait, is EMO & EMOTIONALthe darn thing or what? LOL what-the-hell??? *shifty eyes* Oh-the-wells, what else???? I’m . . . . also a VERY random person. LOL. Sometimes the ‘betches’ don’t get me either. J hur hur hur~~~~ so, just before I end this piece of crap, I shall warn u with little things like. . . . . I’m a VERY VERY VERY hot-tempered girl SO that means, whenever I’m mad or whatever, I whud just rant it all out with LOTS of vulgarity J BEWARE!!! ^^ & IF U DON’T LIKE ME OR WHATEVER IT IS,JUST ANYTHING. FOR EXAMPLE, HOW I WRITE, HOW I “LOOK” HOW I TALK, OR JUST WHATEVER KIND OF SHIT U CAN THINK OF TO HATE BOUT ME, DON READ ME THEN. JUST give yourself a LIFE (if you have any to start with) & GET OUT OFF THIS BLOG then =) just a favor you’re doing for the BOTH of us then ^^ anyways, TILL THEN. Ps:/// this is my blog, so its gonna be about ME ME ME & ME MYSELF (of course, my betches & bastards as well) so just don get bored with all the craps that’s about to be presented to U “reader” or something. XOXO .C.

[ Sunday, April 27, 2008 ]

RESTLESSNIGHTS&TEARS

ithinkimightjustexplodeonedayifi'mgoingonkeepingthingsinsideme!!!
maybeiwouldhavekilledmyselforsomething.
(no worries my darlings, my stuff will be yours after i'm dead.)

i have tears dropping out of sudden with NO apparent reason.
whats that supposed to mean hmm??

sometimes i just hate myself for being such an naif kinda girl??
or maybe i trust and believe someone tooooo much?

i dunno.

everytime i think its gonna be fine,
guess it wasn't how i thought it would at all.

i've wished things would come MY WAY.

but it never did.

leaving the pain in me getting more & more & MORE!!!!

was texting Mei Ling the other night.
we randomly talked bout our lives.

that we whouldn't kill ourself and all??

well, my dear.
i think i might one day if i'm not getting my problems solved.

then u'll be the bystander then.
hmm??

HE doesn't know.
HE apparently have no idea how i reli feel inside.

why say things to hurt someone when u can say something else to make them feel better???
(that excludes how i treat osla aka mr.spores n cockeye of cos.)

right?

we become obsessive of things because we tend to care too mush for something.
but what do we get?
they/it whatever shuts you out.

do u even know how it feels to be in that situation?
guess not.

i always (i guess) seemed alright at school right?
other then my super hot temper sometimes????
lyk... i'm all happy n bubbly, jumping around.

deeeeeep down inside behind that girl there u see in school.
is a whole different girl at home.

she practically mourns at home.
is like she's dead.

get what i mean?

no one cares.
no one knows.

but the only time she kinda live up again would be receiving or talking to him.

what happened now?

it's like we've been muted.
know?

at first i thought he was back.
fine.
i texted.
no reply.

i called.
not picking up.

texted again.
NTG.

nvm.
i called n called cos i thought he was back, guess i was WRONG!

nvm.

then.
i got worried.
who knows, if something might have happen right?
lyk say, car accident? or...beated up? or. . . . . .i don't know.
simply something bad right?

not after i called n called n called.

FINALLY.
miracle happened.

he terxt me.
know what he said?
(i cried reading it ok.)

''stop calling me can not?. i no credit. i'm still at singapore, will call u when i get back only."

WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT U TELL ME???
i mean, hello dude.

that hurt.
ALOT.

i mean, he could have reply me much more earlier to at least let me know right?
why wait till i KINDA FREAKING REALLY ANNOYED U BY CALLING SO MUCH TIMES TO TELL ME THAT RIGHT?

DOES THAT MAKES SENSE TO U HUUUURHHH???

NOT TO ME!!!!
(u might get mad reading what i'm writting here, oh no, wait, i don think u even read wat i say on my blogs, or even care to view it at all i guess. wells. my bad.)

WHY!!!!!

i'm such an idiot i guess.

hmm, yeah,. i am.
i'm an idiot.

would talk lyk that to ure girlfriend?

WOULD U?

if i was him,
i'll talk lyk that to i dunno, a friend?

*sobbing*
WHAT IS UP WITH MY SMALL TINY LITTLE MISERABLE LIFE???

am i being CURSED here??
liek not to have a good relationship kinda thing?

=S
ARGGHHH!!!!

i've been already suffering from missing this dude for a week.
and that was what i get???

DO U KNOW IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT IT'VE HURT ME ALOT U ******

what did i ever do to deserve this kind of treatment hmm???

MAYBE I WAS WRONG?

BUT WHATS UP WITH ME too hmm??

*speechlessssss*

PS: to all couples out there who MIGHT be reading this piece of ranting from me, cheerish n trust each other. don let ureself's get hurt. =)

xoxo
my piece of ranting crap ends here.

i don think i'll be uploading any of those school pictures i promised last week.
moodless as i am now. so yeah.

*lurves*

Wants .

.TSomeone to hug with when she’s cold TA lappy TA DSLR THer lomo cammy TNew cell TA walk-in closet (if possible) THer own purchase of Juicy Couture charm bracelet TA random antique chandelier (black/gold) TA new wardrobe TAll 4 of Twilight’s books TPurchase of a 100 pairs of heels(in 1 month) THer very own business online with her BFF of fashion (M.Ling) THer own collection of Beatles black plate’s TStart off a collection of authentic wine TBreak a leg or arm before she dies TBreak someone’s toe with her heels J